Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's Just An Emo Day.

Song today : You're Not Alone - MJ

I have been feeling so so down for few days, since I got the x-ray check up on my leg.
Last Saturday, I went to Hospital Pantai Mutiara for my leg check up.
The doctor examined my leg, my scar, and done x-ray on my leg.

The x-ray came out, and submitted to the doctor.
When I thought that the doctor was about to say the same thing as General Hospital's doctors said, the doctor surprised me.
I got a shocked for few seconds, and I became speechless.
The doctor's sentences are simple.
"You cannot squad down like a normal person, permanently"

"Certain limited movements on your leg that the screws caused, it will be permanent"

"The screws wont be taking out, unless you're gonna change your whole bone to a metal one."

"Those screws will be in your leg for the rest of your life, and you are gonna suffer pain when you are old"
Simple sentences that hurt deeply into my feeling.
Which destroy all my hopes and dreams, causing me troubles for the rest of my life.

All these while, all the information from GH's doctors are wrong!!!
They never look into my x-rays, they just briefly read about my medical reports and when i asked questions, they are just answering me based on their stupid knowledge!!!
They didn't know that those screws are screwed into my hip, not femur!

All these while, I've been positive thinking.
I told myself not to give up, I told myself to be strong.
I don't need anybody to support me, i can walk by myself.
I must not make anyone worry about me.
I told myself, the screws will be taking out in the future, and someday, I will walk like a normal person again, as how I walk last time.
I told myself, don't force myself too hard, I will be active in sports again in the future, but not now.

All these while, my family and friends are supporting me.
I know they care about me, so I never tell them when my leg is extremely pain.
I don't wanna make anyone worry about me, and also not to gain sympathy.
I've been telling myself that one day, I will be fine.
I've been giving myself all the hopes that I will be fine in the future, my leg will fully recover.

I'm afraid.
Afraid of people don't wanna hang out with me anymore if they think that I cannot join for certain activities.
Afraid of people think that I am a burden to them.
Afraid of no one cares about me.
Afraid of being left behind.

Then, i stood up again.
Even though i can ease the pain for every step i take, I will not complain.
I must never show the weaker side about myself.
I will never let anyone worry about me, I don't wanna be a burden to anyone.
I can take the pain, I will not let anyone leave me behind...

At 1st, I don't even want to tell anyone about my current condition, not even my family.
All these while, everyone thought that those screws will be remove from my leg one day.
That's what I told everyone, and what I heard from GH's doctors.
I've been putting the smile on my face, laugh like nobody business, to cover up my emotional feeling.

But now, I will have to bear with the pain, until the rest of my life.
I cannot squad down like a normal human, forever.

I cannot shift my leg up, forever.

The screws will be remain in my hip, for the rest of my life.

Everything is permanent, no more hopes.
I have to go through another types of life.
Which I will feel pain when I wake up, until I go to sleep, and sometimes, sleepless night.
I am a weather forecast, I can tell the whole state of people that when is it going to rain.
But no matter what, I should feel thankful that I can still walk, and I am still alive.
I am only 20 years old, or I should say, 19years and 10months old, and I have to go through all these.
I am a tough guy, I will not give up, I will continue my journey, until the end, the rest of my life...

I am writing this post to express my own feeling.
Not to gain any attention or sympathy from anyone.
Thanks to everyone who care about me all these while.
Thousand appreciate.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I Hate This!

I hate it, when you said that you got some feeling towards me when i tell you that we are friends.

I hate it, when I have start to contribute, and you start avoiding me.

I hate it, when I sms you daily as usual, you start replying me with only few words.

I hate it, when I start showing my care about you, you start ignoring me.

I hate it, when you are the one who said you got some feeling towards me at the beginning, and now, you are saying that we're friends.

I Absolutely HATE THIS!

Done my bullshit =)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

College Life

It's been sometimes since i last update about my college life.
Let's get update with some pictures!

Below are some pictures with my classmates! XD
Xher & I
Haz & Xher
A crazy picture of myself = ="

Don't give me bad comments, i beg you guys = ="

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Drink F&N and Win Yourself A PSP or Sony MP3!

You know what is F&N?
There are Grape, Strawberry, Orange, Ginger Beer, and etc.

This promotion is called "Dance You Win"

What you have to do is:
1. Get yourself a can of F&N drinks.
2. Pull the tab.
3. If the can is dancing instead of the providing the drinks to you, then CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU! Call this number 03-8023 8311 ( Monday - Friday 10a.m. - 5p.m, except public holidays)

Prizes available:
1. 750 x Sony PSP(Play Station Portable)
2. 750 x Sony Video MP3 Player

Promotion Period:
1st of June - 31 of August 2009

For more info, please visit this page.

What are you waiting for?
Go and find your dancing can now!
Good luck to all of you!

Friday, July 17, 2009

If You Think That Your Life Sucks, Then What About Their Life?

Read this article and you will completely understand what my title means.
= ="

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Ice Age 3

I wanna watch this movie!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Have You Watch Transformers 2: The Revenge of The Fallen yet?

This movie Transformers 2 have been out for like 2 weeks and i am pretty sure a lot of you have watched it.
Very cool movie, a lot of fighting scenes, and it is also about luv~~~

Let me introduce to you all for some characters in the movie.
He is cool, very cool, but only during the beginning scenes
Skid & Mudflap
The twins, always fight with each other, not much involve in fighting scenes, and don't know where they gone in the end.
The bike, she is cute and kinda fast moving, not much of her fighting scenes too.
There is another bike, no one knows the name, and died in the end.
Ok, let's proceed to the Decepticons, those bad machines
A huge machine monster that transformed by around 6 decepticons.
Only appeared during the last fighting scene, fought with Skid & Mudflap,
P.S : He is a male and have 2 HUGE Balls.
The big and huge guy, which looks strong and cool, but die easily.
Optimus Prime killed him.
The Fallen
The Mage, master of Megatron, which hid when Optimus Prime is alive, and appear when he is dead. Only involved in the last fighting scenes.
[Unknown Name]
The tiger creature, who saves the cube and the Decepticons.

Thanks to GoodBoyGoneBad who reminded me that I should not miss this hot babe.
Isabel Lucas, who play as one of the Decepticons
She's HOT! Go and see her pink undies! XD
There are actually a lot more which I couldn't find their pictures.
Go watch it at yourself, it is a very nice movie andI've watched it twice and going to be my thrice tonight.
Some people said that it is not nice, why?
Because of the transforming parts are too little?
The what's your review during the 1st movie? fighting scenes too little, transforming scenes too much, blah blah blah.

I guess the director made this movie by reviewing the opinions of the 1st movie.
So when can we satisfy?

Just get along and watch it larrrrr!!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Cute Pussy [Cat]

This cat is so hyperactive!
I went to this Farlim Petshop and met this cute pussy!
See how we had fun!

Cute little pussy, i am gonna miss u,